Emotional regulation is a skill that can be acquired.

Our emotional lives rule us. If you’re like me, you don’t want to admit that fact! You might believe that you are always totally in control making conscious decisions rationally and with perspective… the truth is, there's a monkey on your back.

Professor Steve Peters refers to our reactive emotional selves as the chimp system. Our chimp is;

~ impulsive,

~ doesn’t think of consequences,

~ is emotionally driven, and

~ when you’re tired or stressed it takes over.

You cannot control the chimp system, but you can manage it. This requires psychological mindedness, an understanding that you might not be able to change what’s occurring, but you can change your approach. This means taking responsibility, accepting what’s in front of you and moving forward. To do this affectively you need to be able to regulate your emotions.

You might not be able to change what’s occurring,

but you can change your approach.

Emotional regulation is a skill that you can acquire. When you notice you are being hijacked by emotion, Professor Peters suggests asking yourself the following questions;

1. Is the emotion helpful?

2. Can I remove the emotion or will i need to work with it.

3. Can I remove the emotion and just work with the facts.

Some wise advice from the Prof to get that monkey off your back.